For whatever reason this topic has been circling around in my head for quite sometime. It is also a topic that is controversial. This topic is anti-depressants.
I have been on anti depressants for about 4-5 years, when the time came for me to get my butt to the doctor and finally face the truth that I was not ok, anti-depressants were offered to me. At the time I suffering with severe anxiety & panic, agoraphobia and depression. I was someone who had never really experienced any mental health issues in my life nor did I know anyone who had suffered. Safe to say I felt extremely lonely and lower than low.
When offered the meds I was sceptical, as you would be but at the same time I was DESPERATE to be me again. I felt like the person I once was had died, was she ever going to come back? Who knew?
I took the medication, my doctor prescribed me 100mg of Sertraline. When I first took this I was so ill, the side effects were like nothing I had ever experienced. But once the side effects passed I slowly but surely felt like me again, I was able to go out and enjoy life the way I did before. I cannot describe how nice it felt to feel like I had a personality again, no longer was I a shell of a human.
As time went on I learnt that my doctor gave me a prescription that was WAY too strong and left me with the challenge to reduce my medication bit by bit the better I felt. Instead of starting me on 10mg and letting me go up if I felt worse he stuck me on a very high dosage with hard hopes of ever reducing. I have also learnt that my medication has a lot of side effects that I deal with on a daily basis.
It’s hard as it is, I admit I don’t want to be on medication for the rest of my life and I don’t want to have to deal with the daily side effects like weight gain & not being able to loose weight till I’m off the meds, allergic reactions, sleep issues and more. The issue I face here is are the effects of my meds that I suffer with everyday worse than feeling in the worst place possible mentally? No, if you put it on paper, they are not. Yes of course my weight gets me down but nowhere near as down as I have felt in the past.
I have gone through the past 4-5 years of people being cool about me taking medication and other people giving me opinions that I don’t need. Slating the meds, saying how I can do this with out the meds, medication is for the weak, medication is covering the issue, Christ the list is endless. Just becuase someone doesnt agree or has a certain narrow minded opinion on medication that should not make you feel ashamed or emabressed.
My thoughts are if you have not suffered with mental health in any way shape or form, if you are not inside my body and you can’t feel what I feel and if you do not understand mental health then your opinion is IRRELEVANT!!
In actual fact me taking that medication 4 1/2 years ago was the best thing I could have ever done. It pulled me out of a dark hole and put me back on track. Medication is there for a reason. People will literally have an opinion on everything they want even when they really don’t have a clue what they are talking about.
If you had to take medication for a physical health symptom, would you bash someone for that choice, no you wouldn’t as they need that medication to make them well again.
I plan on reducing my medication every time I feel great, so every few months I will reduce and keep going till I feel mentally well enough to live life without them, but if I feel like I’m going back down hill and I can’t pull myself out of it I will put my medication back up and I see NO shame in that whatsoever. Everyone needs a little help sometimes.
Don’t get me wrong I am aware that sometimes medication doesn’t work for everyone. No one is the same, what works for one person may not necessarily work for another.
I want to help try to break the stupid stigma around medication for your mental health. If you need help, so what? Why should anyone be made to feel ashamed for taking medication? The fact that people hide it from their friends & loved ones because they are ashamed or peoples comments have made them feel embaressed makes me feel so sad!
I write this because I am passionate about it and also I’m very open and honest about mental health. If someone doesnt understand mental health or medication, try educating them! Its probably the best thing to do.
Thanks for reading, please let me know if you can relate to this!
Love From Liv xo